Friday, February 6, 2009

In my shoes

For some reason I felt that it was necessary to take another ovulation test on Wednesday after Tuesday's positive result, just to see what would happen. Well, it was another positive test. Off to Google I went, and found that it was perfectly normal to get a couple of days of positives. Just to see what would happen, I took another test last night and it was negative, which was relieving to me for some reason. I think all the talk about ovulation tests is giving Mike performance anxiety, which totally sucks. I didn't want it all to turn into this, for that very reason.

I'm finding that no one really wants to talk about all of this. Especially people who aren't trying to get pregnant or haven't had kids yet. Mike has recently given me permission to tell a couple more people we are trying (although expressly forbidding me to tell family, which is fine by me) and I really haven't had anyone who I feel like I relate to completely, even the friend who has been trying for nearly a year. I tried to talk to a childless (and not trying) friend about it earlier in the week and here is our IM conversation:

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Me: so i'm kinda a freak now, i went to one of those sites that sells the bulk pregnancy test strips and ovulation kits

Her: lord

Me: so i've been taking these ovulation predictor tests every night since saturday

Her: honey. you're 28?

Me: (shut it)

Her: slow down

Me: (now)

Her: just try for 6 months without all this craziness

Me: it's not crazy!

Her: ugh

Her: can you scroll back and read your crazy please

Me: it's using modern science to aid in getting pregnant - i'm not standing on my head and doing voodoo. i'm like "hey, I don't want to have sex 9 days in a row, so just tell me when i need to have sex"

Her: no, i get it...i just think it's a weird route to go when you're so young and you've only been trying a little while. this seems like step 2 to me

Me: i know, i'm impatient, i don’t deny that. i'm busy and i'm tired and having sex for 10 days straight is honestly not my idea of fun...so i'm just taking some of the guesswork out :)

Her: okok

Me: i know it sounds crazy to you

Her: it does for your age. i've seen my friends do all this mess, but they are all 35, it just seem ludicrous to do it so young.

Me: but when you are (finally) like "I WANT BABIES" you'll know what it feels like b/c you want them NOWNOWNOW

Her: ok - i guess i'll just take your word for it

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So I guess this is like any other thing, you don't understand it until you are there.

2 comments:

Erika said...

If it makes you feel any better, I'm totally there right now and I'm only 23 and we JUST started trying. You can share all your crazy trying-to-get-pregnant stuff with me and no judgment will ensue. Scout's honor.

Ruthy said...

Like I mentioned before, I have been trying for more than a year. Not fun. At some point I just stopped charting and decided to take it easier, easier on me.
It was too hard, too stressful. I was trying to find a meaning to any little "symptom". And who knows, maybe I was even imagining them!
So no, it's not crazy. It's not out of the ordinary to want to test every day... either for ovulation or pregnancy. But for me, even when I got pregnant with my girl, no test came out positive! You can imagine how much I spent on tests.