Wednesday, July 22, 2009


{Photo Courtesy of Salvini}

This morning, someone asked how far along I am. I told them "26 weeks today"..."WOW!" they exclaimed..."It's going by SO FAST!" Oh, is it? Is it going by fast for you? How nice.

I was going to have a good day today, but then I woke up with 4 zits in a sort of artsy semicircle formation around my chin. No sugar coating it - I'm struggling right now. And I'm not happy about it. See, I strive to be this super happy positive gal and I've always thought of myself as the sort of person who could float through pregnancy with a big smile on my face and talk about how good I felt and how much energy I had and how strong I feel. Well, fuck, that is just not my reality. I spent the first 16 weeks wanting to puke about 23 1/2 hours of the day. And then I had a really pretty nice 8 weeks. And then about a week ago, I started feeling big and gross and tired. I don't WANT to be any of these things. I want to be vibrant! And glowing! And.....oh forget it, I hardly have the energy to come up with another descriptive word. I'm one of those annoying "your reality is what you make it" people (yes, I'm that girl who asks you if you saw that Oprah episode where she talks about The Secret). Well, I must have fucked up my vision board or something, because this pregnancy has taken a turn for the crabby, and I don't seem to be able to change the trajectory. I am getting between 9-10 hours of sleep every night, but still wake up and spend my day totally exhausted. I feel bleary eyed and cloudy headed and just a general sense of drag-ass'edness. If I was 36 weeks along, I wouldn't be so upset about this. But 26 weeks!? Come on! This is supposed to be my blissful 2nd trimester time! I am the victim of energy theft! Give it back! *sigh*


Parsing Nonsense said...

Hey, I'll take you where you're at. I think it's great to try to be upbeat and positive about pregnancy, but sometimes it just kicks you in the head and you'd be a huge liar to say it didn't hurt.

I hope some of that nesting energy comes in soon so you can ride that wave all the way to 40 weeks!

Becca said...

I'm right there with you (25 weeks). I hope you don't still have morning sickness, cause mine decided to show back up last week, only once so far thankfully!
My emotions have been going crazy the whole time. Mainly a lot of crying over anything and everything. (before I didn't hardly cry at all). Anyways. I do hope it gets better for you!