Friday, March 20, 2009


Things I'd like to comment on:
  • Holy shit, Ali Wentworth has the craziest bags under her eyes.
  • I bet the Oprah show is saving a million dollars this year by Skyping with all their guest instead of flying them in.
  • I wish the clothes in the dryer would fold themselves.
  • If you are trying to talk about music from India, is it called Indian music? What about Indians? What is their music called? This confuses me.

Things I'd like to bitch about:
  • I just bought a pair of shorts at a maternity consignment store and put them on for the first time today and there is a huge hole in the crotch. I realize they are used, but that's just annoying.
  • My DVR somehow skipped recording Survivor this week
  • When Mike has something in the closet he wants to throw away (like a pair of 4 year old work socks with 16 holes in the sole) he just puts them on the closet floor. And leaves them there. Until they "disappear" (aka until I throw them away). Because he usually doesn't expect me to clean up after him, this annoys the shit out of me.
  • The cheese slice that Wendy's puts on their burgers tastes like orange chalk.
  • I hate that it's always my responsibility to write the thank you notes.
  • Why am I not allowed to bitch about work right now? Yes, I realize that the economy is in the toilet, I realize people are getting laid off - but my boss certainly isn't taking a break from being a dick, so why do I have to be grateful?
  • Although I'm sorta happy that my previous maternity wardrobe is way too big for me, I'm not looking forward to purchasing another wardrobe I'll never wear again.

Things I'm happy about:
  • Mike never minds sitting with Finn for up to 45 minutes while he plays in the bathtub (one thing I have just no patience for).
  • Every person who has been voted out on American Idol has been a-ok with me.
  • Telling Mike's family tomorrow that I'm pregnant.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The diff

Wow, the last week has been....long. I was not expecting my nausea to take such a turn for the worse. As I was getting used to my 2-3 hour breaks from feeling like i needed to puke, all of a sudden on Monday, it's been a 24 hour deal, with no relief whatsoever. AND, I went from morning dry heaves with the occasional water puking to full on 2-3 times a day praying to the ceramic bowl. Yesterday as I started to cook dinner for my little one, I started throwing up in the sink. Okay, I can deal with that. But then it got kinda intense and I peed my pants, people. Like, full on wet spot across the entire front of my pants. So can I curl up in a ball and feel sorry for myself? Nope! Took off my jeans, turned on the disposal and pre-heated the oven for dinner. It's just such a reminder to how different this time around is from last time. 2 1/2 years ago, I was couch lounging, sleeping late and day dreaming. This time, Finn is begging me to build lego towers at 5:30am and proclaiming "Mommy stinky!" as I pass another bout of pregnancy gas.

The only thing that is keeping me going was hearing that little babe's heartbeat on Monday. Our appointment and first ultrasound went great. I'm 8 weeks today and on track for a October 28 due date. Not sure why, but that sounds SOON! Maybe because Finn was born in February and so during the pregnancy, it was always "next year" for the due date.

Isn't this the cutest little fuzzy fetus you ever did see?
My OB is freakin great, we love her. She's really laid back and friendly, the kind of person that I really just want to be friends with...but you know, the relationship she has with my vagina keeps me from asking her to coffee. She gave us a big bag of free prenatals and I loved the graphic on this one:

I guess this woman took this brand of prenatals and her kid popped out a college graduate. Wow, potent shit.

This morning when I went to get dressed, I had a serious problem - my "big" jeans are no longer big enough. My one pair of super subtle maternity jeans are residing in the washing machine after my little pee party last night. My low rise jeans are doable, but I just don't have a shirt that will mask the belly well enough. I ended up going with a skirt even though it's been a week since I've shaved my legs and a thick black hoodie. Needless to say, I'm looking really hot. Thank god we are spilling the beans to the famillies this weekend so I can tell my coworkers and start wearing some clothes that actually fit. Here's the one thing though - my belly is really big for being only 2 months along. My OB did laugh when I complained about how far out my belly is already and said "It's funny how first time moms complain that they don't show until the 4th month and 2nd time moms are pissed that they look 4 months only 8 weeks in". I'm just not sure I'm ready for the first stranger to ask how far along I am, and then getting 'that look' when i say "10 weeks!" and they were expecting me to say I was 5 months or something. Oh well - screw 'em?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

What I got

There are many things I'm looking forward to with the birth of my second child. Aspects of which I'm sure that I will express in excruciatingly sappy and endless detail over the next several months. But for now, I'd like to take a moment to give a shout out to my current situation and everything about it that I really really dig:

- The ability to run into the store for one or two things without having to get a cart
- Our spare bedroom
- It's only slightly painful to pay the daycare bill
- Getting 8 hours of sleep pretty much every night
- Being able to lock the kiddo in the bathroom with me with a couple of toys and take a shower
- My current level of stretch marks (seriously, God of Skin, you really did a little number on me with the first one, let's just call it good, k?)
- Being able to take my bra off at night
- Not getting awkward looks from my coworkers when I have to close my door to pump
- Setting food on the highchair tray and having my child feed himself and eating my dinner while it's still hot.
- Never using the phrase "This would sure be easier if we had a minivan"
- Not having 32 bottle pieces and pump parts to wash every night
- Being able to focus solely on my one little man, catering to his every whim, catching every little new thing he says and learns, being there for those moments when he wants to bury his head in my chest and murmur "I love you mommy"

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

View from the top

My first OB appointment isn't until next Monday, but I'm pretty sure that I'm right around 7 weeks. Someone needs to tell this to my belly, who seems to be under the sad and untrue impression that I am 4 months pregnant. Now, I will admit - I have been eating more and exercising less than normal, but not to extreme my-pants-no-longer-fit levels. This poses a problem for a couple of reasons:
#1 - It does NOT help my extreme nausea to have my pants pushing up against my belly.
#2 - I cannot start wearing maternity pants yet since the vast majority of the people that I see daily don't know I'm pregnant...and I'm pretty sure that would be a pretty big tell.

I bought a Be Band (Target purchased rip-off of the way more expensive Belly Band) thinking that I could wear my pants unbuttoned with it, but I can't figure out how to wear it so that it doesn't look like a pregnancy waistband in the back. I think it will be fab little item once I'm out and proud, but until then, I'm just wearing my low rise jeans EXTRA low and wearing bulkier shirts/sweaters so my belly is not bouncing around.

All joking aside, this really is SUCH an awkward time. I'm sick, tired, bloated, emotional, dazed, dizzy and just a little bit weird right now. My belly is getting bigger, but only in the fat way, not in the cute pregnant way. No one is doing me any extra special favors - they are just wondering why I forgot about that deadline, and wow, you are looking a little on the chubs side, eh?

Here are a couple of awkward and blurry "before" pics...

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Top 10

Just the other day I was lamenting on twitter how I don't have any of the symptoms on the lists you see called "Top 10 signs You May Be Pregnant". Well, I must have forgotten to knock on a nearby tree, because that is no longer the case.

10. Tender, swollen breasts
I've got the tender thing going on, but not so much swollen, which sort of irritates me, because one of the things I'm looking forward to is inflating my post-breastfeeding (but once high and mighty) chest to it's former glory.

9. Fatigue
I am so f-ing tired. Not like "yawwwwn, it would sure be nice to get another 30 minutes of sleep", I am now a narcoleptic tired. I fear falling asleep at my desk or in meetings or in my car or while making dinner. I remember during my first pregnancy taking naps in my car during my lunch break and basically sleeping 18 hours a day on the weekend. My active toddler isn't a big fan of lying on the couch for hours at a time, so I'm just blearily making it through my days.

8. Implantation bleeding
Seriously, has this ever happened to anyone?

7. Nausea or vomiting
OMG. I forgot the hell that is pregnancy nausea. Thankfully, it takes straight up salmonella to get me to barf, but let the dry heaves begin. It started 4 days ago - waves of nausea that would pass over me like the smell of raw chicken that's been sitting in the trash too long. So far, I can't figure out the rythym to it, but it comes in for 2 hours, then goes for 45 minutes, back for 3 hours, gone for 15 minutes, etc. During my work day, I try to get things done like a madman during those precious minutes when my stomach isn't turning inside out. During the other minutes (hours) I am catching up on my Facebook, and and whatever other websites that don't require thought or brainpower whatsoever. Needless to say, my work is suffering. I need to stock up on saltines and preggy pops or whatever else I can pretend is working.

6. Increased sensitivity to odors
My husband uses this Burt's Bees Honey lotion stuff. I've never really been in love with the smell of it, but I told him the other day he better put that stuff in a vault before I throw it away. When I was unpacking from my Vegas trip, I nearly blew my cookies when I opened my suitcase and the smell of smoke drifted out. And the other day, as I was eating my Qdoba burrito (which, just by the way, pales in comparison to Chipotle), I couldn't finish the last bites because the smell of green chili was so strong.

5. Abdominal bloating
More like "feels like I've gained 10 pounds". I got on the scale at the gym yesterday and was shocked that I haven't gained any weight. I'm fine first thing in the morning - my pants fit. But after my morning toast, it's like I'm 3 months pregnant. I'm literally contemplating going out and starting to purchase maternity clothes. I do have a fairly decent stack of clothes in the basement, but since I was 40 pounds heavier last time around, I doubt it will fit (at least not in the covert way I'm looking for right now).

4. Frequent urination
I can't tell if this is due to the pregnancy or due to the insane amount of water I'm drinking every time I feel like I'm going to yarf.

3. A missed period

2. Your basal body temperature stays high
I never checked this....

1. The proof: A positive home pregnancy test

So, here is the thing that is NOT on the list, which totally shocks me: Absolute lack of ability to control emotions. I'm not talking about the standard crying-at-nothing-in-particular nonsense (like sobbing when that red haired girl performed "Alone" on American Idol, what was THAT all about??). I'm talking about my sense-of-decency filter that my fetus has somehow blocked. Every year in Vegas we coordinate a poker tournament for our clients at a yearly conference. This year was a great turnout, about 45 people came. I somehow made it to the final table and on one hand, I was convinced that I lost. And instead of politely pushing my chips toward the nice lady with a stiff lipped smile, I screamed "Jesus Christ Mother Fucker!" at the top of my lungs. Surrounding by clients. And coworkers. And both of my bosses. Totally beyond inappropriate (and I have the write-up in my file to prove it). Of course, no one knows that I'm pregnant at my office, so I couldn't blame it on that. But I have to lament - I would NEVER have done something like that normally. But I'm beyond normal now.

Also, I wanted to mention that when I was desperate to be pregnant, I told myself that when I experienced these symptoms, that I would embrace them and the process of the first trimester with glee. What the hell was I thinking?