I finally realize that if I want my husband to unload the dishwasher, I have to ask. Mike will never get excited about unloading it, knowing how happy it will make me. This is an unrealistic expectation that many women have - it's like that awesome scene in The Break Up when Jennifer Aniston gets so pissed at Vince Vaughn because he should "want to do the dishes". "Why would I want to do the dishes???" he asks, perplexed.
Mike and I are lucky that we don't disagree much. Over the last 11 years, I can tell you that our fights have centered around basically one thing: I want him to see things that need to be done and do them. Turns out it doesn't work that way with dudes. Guys are happy to do what you want them to do, you just have to ask for it. It's the asking that's tough, though.
For me, this leads to a bigger issue. I've been slowly realizing over the last several years that the quickest way to live a fulfilled and happy life is to stop waiting for other people to fill your holes. I can't tell you how many years I wasted waiting for my mom to get better so I could be better. Turns out, I had the power the whole time.
If you want your life to be better, you have to be better. If you want change, you have to change.