In one blogger's quest to get more than 3 hours sleep at night, she turned to the internet for ideas on sleep solutions and came across this article. In it, the author details the 10 reasons that you should not utilize the cry it out method. This portion of her argument has me particularly disturbed:
I worry that if I leave my children to cry it out, then they will not see the point in reaching out to us if they have problems later in life and could try to deal with serious issues like bullying, drug addictions, teenage pregnancy, gambling problems, or flunking out of school on their own or turn to peers. Unfortunately, those problems are often too big for a teenager to be left to deal with alone or with peers and it can have disastrous results ranging from making poor decisions all the way to committing suicide out of a feeling of hopelessness.
Whaaaaaat? Seriously, what? Wow.
The author has every right as a mother to choose the technique that works best for her children. But this tactic of proving she is right by detailing how others are wrong has me seriously peeved. What is it about making someone feel terrible about their choices that make you feel better about yours? If you would rather get up with your kids every night as many times as they get up, good for you! Make a list of all the reasons that this is fabulous parenting and how studies show your kids will be little geniuses. But don't make a list of how I'm ruining my child because I choose to take a different path. This self righteous and completely arrogant way of thinking serves no purpose. Why can't moms just put their arms over another mom's shoulder and assure her that she's making the best choices for her kids. Parents are forever second guessing their decisions - should I keep breastfeeding, should I put them in daycare, should I vaccinate, should I only feed organic, should I put them in special classes, should I force them to stop using their pacifier - why not make lists about the benefits of the reasons you made your choice, not a list of reasons that woman who don't agree with you totally suck. Can't we just agree that what may be working for my kid most likely won't work for yours? Why do you think there are a hundred different books on baby sleep solutions? There is no one size fits all with kids. If you encounter a solution for any part of your life that's working for you - for your children, for your diet, for organizing your wallet, whatever! - I want to see the list about all the reasons it rocks. But a list about all the reasons I am making the wrong decision if I don't agree with you? No thanks.
1 comment:
I think you hit the nail right on the head when you said that you'd much rather hear about why what you're doing is working as opposed to listing all the reasons you think other people are failing. I also agree that the above sentence from that blog post is extreme to say in the least. I highly doubt Aidan will be scarred for life because I let him cry it out, and to say with certainty that it will lead to suicide and hopelessness later is just absurd.
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