Monday, June 15, 2009

To crib or not to crib

I saw this picture on this talented artist's blog the other day and it grabbed me. This picture says freedom to me. Or, more specifically, being free. Free to go outside and throw your head into the wind and smell deeply into the air. With no laundry to do or email to return or bills to pay. I think we all have that dream where you sell all your shit and just leave to wherever that place is that calls to you. Being the responsible (and scared) people that we are, we are firmly anchored to our mortgage and our jobs and have to take our moments of freedom where we get them.

I love my son. I love my life more with him in it. I'm a better person, my husband is a better man and we are a better us with him in our lives. With that said, one of my favorite moments of the day is when I pull Finn's door nearly closed while saying the love you's and see you tomorrow's. We are extremely lucky to have a very good sleeper - although if I'm being honest, I do take some credit for having the determination to stick with sleep training - but I was also blessed with a kid who sleeps for nearly 12 hours at night and another 2-3 during a midday nap. We get him to bed by 8pm and I like to be in bed by 10pm these days. This gives me a scant two hours to do whatever it is that I want/need to do. The only two hours in my entire day when I don't have anyone directly counting on me to do something. I can be responsible - wash the dishes, get my lunch ready for tomorrow, return some work email, put away toys, etc etc etc. OR, I can flop my pregnant ass on the couch and watch So You Think You Can Dance while eating popcorn. The thing is, it's ladies choice, and that's a damn good feeling.

My husband is really pushing for us to move Finn out of his crib. He's only climbed out once (back in January) and although I'm due in October, the new baby will sleep in our room for a few weeks, so we have plenty of time until we would need the crib. But for some reason, Mike is insistent that Finn is ready and he wants to buy him a twin sized mattress and start ASAP. I am typically a very positive person, but for some reason the concept of this scares the holy shit out of me. Because what is at stake here? My 2 hours. I'm totally terrified that this is going to turn into one of those Super Nanny episodes where the kids are running around the house at 11pm begging to watch Elmo, refusing to stay in their rooms. Or, waking up at 4am with my kid 3 inches from my face, staring at me in the dark. I have read every article and post on the message boards on and they all say the same thing - for some kids, it's an easy transition and for some, it's not. Wow, thanks for the incredible insight.

The conversation came to a head today and I agreed that if he felt that strongly about moving Finn into a bed, I would get behind him and get positive and we'll make it happen. (By the way, this is becoming a worrisome trend lately where my husband really gives a shit about things that he never used to give a shit about. It's weird.)

So, deeeeep breaths. I'm diving into the deep end here, potentially losing not just my hours of freedom before I go to bed, but also the naptimes and the hours through the night. Oh damn, there I go being negative again. Okay - um - I mean....YAY BIG BOY BED! I can't wait (ughhhh).


becca said...

Hi, I'm due around the same time you are. I'm not sure if I've commented before or not...
I don't know how old Theo is, but unless he's nearing preschool... I'm not seeing the big deal. I keep mine in the crib until they start climbing out or (as in the case of #3) I had a friend who needed my crib. I don't see any reason to rush it... especially if he's not *wanting* a big boy bed.
Who gets to get up constantly at night and put him back in his bed when he gets out of it? If it is you, I'd say no way. If your husband is going to do it, then I'd welcome the chance to get this transition over with and not have to do it myself :)

Parsing Nonsense said...

I definitely hope it's a smooth transition! The nice thing about the timing is it'll give Theo some time to adjust before baby brother arrives and brings even more change with him!

Positive! Positive!

Kate said...

I love that I am not the only mom who loves her son more than anything but the best part of the day totally is when I put him down. I am WORN out and I'm not even pregnant. Although I do really enjoy So You Think You Can Dance and popcorn.

Sarah @ said...

When my parents moved me into a twin bed, my mom lost her afternoon hours too. So she instigated Quiet Time which meant that I had to play quietly and calmly in my room for two hours. At first, she checked on me all the time, then as I got older, it became a natural thing for me to just read a book or whatever.

So that might be an idea for you?

Lizzy said...

Hey! The bed transition for my little guy went way better than I thought it would. I used the fear of the unknown to my advantage (which is sort of mean, but it totally worked). He did the night routine fine but naps were trickier. I tried to make it clear that he had to stay IN BED. I can hear him play on his bed for a bit, but he doesn't dare get off (yet) and he does fall asleep soon after. The first few days were rough, but I just stuck with it and now we're back in our normal routine.

I wanted to use a side rail, because Ben was pretty wild in his crib (he would hold on to a corner bar and swing in and out of the crib-scary!), but I couldn't find one and was too impatient to order one. I ended up putting a pillow next to him instead, to save him from falling, but he always moved it so I stopped bothering. He does fine though. So far no injuries (knock on wood).

THAT was a novel. Sorry. Good luck! Let us know how it goes.